Finding The Right Words
I have always found it hard to truly express how I was truly feeling and it was really difficult and frustrating when I felt that emptiness – blank space. I often felt like there was no words that could adequately describe or encapsulate what I truly felt and what I really wanted to say. I usually just smile and take it all in - that was just who I was even when speaking to God. Finding the right words to say was just so impossible.
Not everyone communicates the same and I only found that out when I was worshipping in His presence. It was during those intimate moments I could just be pouring my all to Him. I could be that child running back to my Father. What words could not bring across, worship did.
I grew up serving in a dance ministry where we would dance before the Lord during church worship services. I literally danced my heart out with the team and laid aside all my worries. You see, dancing meant so much to me, I would spend hours in the dance studio perfecting my ballet moves and that expression of love translated to the moments I danced in His presence. As we danced and worshipped, I could feel my walls breaking and ultimately was liberated from the feelings that were stuck within me.
But I never really questioned that surge of emotions and connection when I danced or reflected on why I felt that way, but I know for sure that with every turn and move I felt like my feelings were truly communicated to God. On top of that, I barely danced before the Lord anywhere else but in church. To be honest, I used to just see it as a service, a duty.
The times when I was not serving and just standing in the congregation worshipping with my voice, there was always this “mini-me” dancing in my head. Then, I came to a (few) realisation:
A realisation that I was limiting myself to church services to commune with God through dance.
A realisation that it was during the times I danced, I could feel God’s presence the strongest.
A realisation that my spirit wanted that communion with God
A realisation that dance is my language with God.
Dancing is and will always be my personal, intimate language that I could use to communicate with God anytime, anywhere. It should not just be a service or simply because I could dance; it is really about immersing in His presence.
To put it simply, it is akin to being involved in a community service outreach. We go over, volunteer our time and energy with the aim to serve and help but more often than not, we come away with so much more. Similarly, when you go into the presence of God, praying that our heart of worship would be that sweet smelling aroma to Him, the experience we take away is so much more. God never lets His children leave His presence empty handed, He is more than what we can ever ask for or imagine.
Going into a time of worship helps us grow in so many ways. Worship breaks the chains in our lives and causes the enemy to flee. There was this instance in the Bible that David worshipped God with his harp and that drove Saul’s distressing spirit away from him (1 Sam 16:23). Worship helps us to focus on God and God alone, leaving behind our worldly distractions, ambitions, worries and anxiety. Worship helps us to express our love for God and always remind us of His goodness, love and mercy. There is no limit to what God can do when we worship Him with our whole heart.
And for me, as I worship and dance before Him, I can just dwell in His presence and pour out whatever I’m feeling. The steps and the movements speak to God more than words could ever express. My dance becomes my cry out for God as “deep calls to deep” (Psalms 42:7a).
This language I have with God always brings me where my feet has never wandered and into a deeper relationship with Him. It also teaches me that with God, you don’t need the right words, you just need a heart that is in sync with His. Give Him your whole heart today and “worship Him in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24).
I want to take this opportunity to encourage you to find your own language with God if you have not already done so. Ask yourself, when is it that you feel God’s presence the most? It could be singing, playing an instrument or dancing, whatever it is, cultivate the culture of worshipping God every day, no matter where you are. Come back to His embrace and presence.
Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with timbrel and harp.
Psalms 149:3
God bless you,
Nathania Trixie Demot
Head (Outreach & Finance), The Encounter